There was a noise I heard in my back while I was on the line to order the foods we chose. My little cousin told my sister-in-law, “Tell it to her, now!” I was curious and uptight. I knew that my sister-in-law or Jane had grave news for me. I begged her to tell me the truth. After a while, she spilled the beans that my father undergoes an oxygen and a cardioversion procedure. I heard a racing premonition in my heart. It was like, I knew what will befall next. Jane never liked to tell that distressing information because she hated to see me breaking down.
After hearing a worrying news, I numbly walked away from a queue without caring my buddies. My heart and mind were devoid of ideas, but stuffed with apprehension and deep emotion. While I was walking hurriedly, I never knew that my name was called many times. I never heard any resonances around me because my own world was chaos. I realized I was not walking in the right place to exit, then I heard my name being called by Jane at the back.
If I would compare myself to one thing at that point, I was like a balloon that was drifted sleekly whenever the air brings me. I didn’t know the right control.
Until we finally exited from the Gaisano mall and were riding a tricycle. The teardrops in my eyes were like a river that is uncontrollable to flow. Those teardrops were mixed with hope for miracles, anxiety, nervousness, and maybe acceptance.
Many years ago, I remembered a patient that underwent the same procedure at the public hospital that eventually lost his life. It caused me a lot to worry and was expecting a miracle.
My father was an active preacher earlier. He had many admirers in the way he sings Christian songs. He said that he never noticed he has a good voice, but believed that it was the Holy Spirit that ran on his genuine melody.
As time passes by, my father was straying to the reversed way because of these ungodly attractions that poisoned his mind and destroyed the spirit of Jesus Christ that lived to his inner soul. Once we are tainted to savor this physical world, it is like having cancer where we seek God to ask for a cure in the end, at the core of our battle. Returning to the Holy Spirit of the Lord is a manifestation of healing. We think that the purpose in coming back to our devotion is visible for a fair tryout, but allowing the Holy Spirit in our hearts to come back would undergo those challenging tangles that test our sincerity to welcome His knock.
Yet, my father lost his way, but an absolute beat in his heart is our Author of Salvation. There were times He asked equality. He contemplated that those nefarious people exist more than the good. The evil people don’t bear the huge problems in their lives, but the good people keep moving to confront the ultimate battles even in their strong devotion. Still, we cannot judge everybody’s story. Every one of us has the different story to tell. The good people are continuing to strive, but their souls are healthy because they are plentiful in God’s spirit. The wicked people might have existed, but how healthy their souls are? The fact that “health is wealth” concludes that the good people exist more. Their souls are healthy.
Back to my father’s story, it seems to be Jesus Christ when He came to the earth. Because of his abilities, there were many people that wanted to drag him down and betrayed. At the end, he never planted hatred and anger for he knew the truth. He allowed the people to use their freedom for sins.
Remembering this topic at home, my elder sister keeps telling us to allow the vengeance on God’s hands because mankind has no authority to judge another person nor providing ruthlessness.
Back to the story, I never knew that we arrived yet at home. I entered the living room and met everyone’s eyes that worried too. I entered the comfort room, sat down, and cried over and over. The doctor said to be ready inasmuch as there was a miniature fortune that my father can survive.
Later, my mother decided to fly at the dawn just to be on my father’s side. I liked to come with her, but we never had money to buy plane tickets. So, my mother kept her clothes for her travel. In the middle of the night, I was sleepless. I only had one hour of slumber, but woke up when I heard the unfamiliar tone of lamenting in the comfort room. I predicted a certainty that is hard to accept. My mother did not say anything to me so I opened her phone message and saw my aunt’s painful news.
It is the most grievous episode in my life because we lost him without even hearing his last call and text, his last voice, and feeling his warm hug for us. Lastly, we lost him that we were not on his side.
It is my father that taught us to build our dreams and be an optimistic one like him. He taught us to grow up decently. He did anything he can to see his family in a better way of living. He may have made mistakes for us, but our family remains strong and complete because he was forgiven. We forgive and forget those mistakes he committed because of our forever and true affection for him. He had done several battles for his family that the other fathers did not do or cannot do. It is very painful to imagine that we expected to serve him back and let him live on beer and skittles with my mother until their hair will gray.
By reading this story, I wish that everyone can learn. While we exist here on earth, let us be expressive through our words and action. Let us show our warm care and regard for the people that we love. We are not cognizant what we will lead us tomorrow, therefore, show it today and do not be shy.
My story is painful, but I know I am not alone. Those who are also in pain today, surrender it all to the Lord. As the song lyrics say:
“Let hope rise
And darkness trembles in your Holy Light
And every eye will see Jesus our God
Great and Mighty to be praised”
(“With Everything” by Hillsong)
Praise our Lord, Jesus Christ!