Just Like Clockwork The Battle Begins

Just like clockwork the battle begins. My daughter started seeing a new therapist last week. She goe every few weeks. I have no idea what they discuss as I am not allowed in the room. Last time this happen my daughter got out of control to the point she was abusive. I stopped it.



Well, last night trying to get my daughter to put dishes away. She yelled for two hours straight. No sane person can take that kind of screaming. Yes, I said two hours. All because she didn’t want to put dishes away.  Of course she brought up everything under the sun except for doing her chores. (I won’t go in to details about the stuff she said. Just know it would break your heart to hear). It is the same old routine like clockwork. Screaming at anyone who says a word to her. Getting in their face. Saying the most hateful things to get a response. She stalls for everything. Unless it is something she wants.

I am not surprise in the least. I know her behavior is only going to get worse. I called it like last time. Why? I suspect for two reasons. One : She wants to go to the coping center where two of her friends are. She has never been to one. Two: She thinks she can go live with her dad.

A coping center is where people go when they can’t to control their emotions. I like to call it a nut house. As it is where crazy people go to. It can be an inpatient or outpatient. My daughter’s father has been in one when he threatened to commit suicide. He has been talking to her a lot on the phone about it recently. Telling her, he goes in one from time to time. I think between her friends and her father she has the wrong idea about the place.

Living with her dad is out of the question. He, himself is mentally unstable. Besides the obvious fact he is the one who shot and disabled me. She would not get the care she needs. As I hate to fight tooth and nail when we were together to make sure she had her medications she needed. I would forgo my own. To make sure she did not go without. Plus, his lady friend lost custody of her son due to drug addiction.

Her father has begged me to make sure I do not put her in one of those places. I have done my best. Yet, she puts her hands on me again in any form. That is where she will go. Unless the neighbors call the cops first. Than it will be jail. I have done everything in my power to prevent it. I have explained this to her.

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I write about the struggles as a release. Everyone needs to talk about their problems some how. If not to someone, they need to write it down to get it out. This is my way of de-stressing. This is my blog. I write my way. I won’t allow anyone to make me feel less of a mother because I write about it when I have no one to talk to about it. Negative comments are not wanted. As this blog only explains a small portion of what goes on. You have no idea unless you have lived with a mentally unstable person.

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  • Comments

    1. Profile photo of Pat Z Anthony
      Pat Z Anthony

      As she always brings up the same things, is it possible that to her at least, these things that bother her have not been addressed? You are doing all you know to do, but maybe on some level she needs more. More what? Like you, I have no clue!

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        We have talked about the things she keeps asking about. Thing is, she doesn’t like the answer given. So, she will ask in another why. I assume her no matter how she asks a question. The answer will still be the same.

    2. Profile photo of Gina  M. Menorca
      Gina M. Menorca

      You are a strong lady to make a point just like you do. You are right,we have no Idea. All I can say is for you to stay strong. No matter what don’t give up, on your daughter. show her all your love.

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        I have not given up on my daughter. Nor will I. I think a parents responsibility is to do whatever they can for their children. Til they are no longer able to.

    3. Profile photo of Rex Trulove
      Rex Trulove

      Believe me, I know what you are going through. Our daughter is bipolar and it is often like walking on eggshells around here. She also tends to remember things that never happened and to have no recollection of things that did. The meds and counseling have helped, but only to a degree and I sometimes wonder if the counselor isn’t empowering her abusive behavior. I have no answers for you, but our daughter is a little better now than she was in the past. Of course, she’s 33 years old and still has her tantrums, but they aren’t quite as frequent as when she was a teenager. We do love her, even when she makes it very hard to do so.

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        That sounds a lot like my daughter behavior. Tonight was another bad night. She has lost her phone. As we found she was texting a 30 year man. She just turned 16. I am appalled.

      2. Profile photo of Rex Trulove
        Rex Trulove

        If she is like our daughter, nothing you say will be right. What she thinks is right is the only thing that matters and nothing you say will change it. BUT if anything at all goes wrong, it will be your fault, even if it was her decision. There have been times when the only thing that has seen us through and kept her from creating a rift between my wife and I is faith in the Lord. I won’t preach, but only He can heal this sort of illness and it will only happen when it is time for it to happen. Watch for it.

      3. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        I believe you are right. God has helped tremendously over the past few years with all of it. I have prayed and begged for help from the Lord, as I have no clue what to do or how to handle it. As my family had turned their backs on me making up things up and believing things that simply were not true. It has been my belief and faith that has got me to where things are now. Not doctors, nor meds or therapists. Don’t get me wrong, they help in their own way. Not Like God has. Thinking positive and prayers has.

      4. Profile photo of Rex Trulove
        Rex Trulove

        This is exactly the sort of thing you should pray for, as you have been and as the bible teaches. You may be praying for relief, but in essence, you are praying for your daughter, so it isn’t a selfish prayer. It is wise to do as we are supposed to and go to Him in prayer. We are actually told to do so. Phillipians 4:6

      5. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        When I pray over this. I do so by myself. That way I can tell God honestly how I feel and what I need out loud. I am always afraid my daughter will not understand some of things I am asking. So, I wait til she is not around. Or do so silently in a room by myself if I can’t find the alone time.

        Plus, my teen son does not believe in God. He is an atheist and hates if I mention God or speak out loud in prayer to him. I have let him know that just because he doesn’t believe, it doesn’t mean I will stop talking about God or praying in my home. As it is my home. However, when he has his own. I will respect his decision. As he needs to respect mine now.

      6. Profile photo of Rex Trulove
        Rex Trulove

        I can understand about your son, too. That is the way of the world. God is an ‘inconvenient’ truth and in an age of instant self gratification, to acknowledge Him means giving up some of that self gratification. In time, God willing, your son will come around. He’ll learn that true joy and happiness only come through God and that the struggle many people go through trying to find peace, love, joy and happiness in the world is purely an illusion and is fleeting.

      7. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        I do worry about him. I hope he does find the joy that I knwo God Can bring.

      8. Profile photo of Rex Trulove
        Rex Trulove

        My advice would simply be to pray for it and to set a good example. If you mirror the love of Jesus, that door might just open. Scripture says that He is there on the other side of the door, just waiting to be invited in.

    4. Profile photo of Andria Perry
      Andria Perry

      Lawdy! How I do know about mental illness! I have taken care of two with schizophrenia, bi-polar and only knows what else. PLUS my sister ( age 49) is bi-polar, that is why she was in the hospital because the doctor canceled due to a funeral and she got mad, wanted the surgery done NOW, because her temp was 100° one day after she mowed grass and got over heated, she went to the hospital and stayed a week, got a hole cut out of her side and was sent home but she knows I am NOT going to nurse her back to health cause she cannot get along with Tony at all and only with me when I just say , yep, uh-huh, yeah and agrees. Her boyfriend has her and home health comes out daily, she has insurance that will pay for 21 days stay in a nursing home.

      I ran away and told no one where I went.

      Please consider a short term inpatient, just to show her that its not going to be a party. I agree with Rex, maybe the counselor is telling her that she has a right to “express herself and to say no” I would have a private session with that person also, do take a short video on your phone of what happens afterwards, she them how good they are doing THEIR job

      I shared this on facebook.

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        The counselor refuses to see me. She claims I am not her patient. I am about to stop them. As I try and get her in another place.

        The problem with my daughter is, she has an easy life. As I try everything possible to help her. Basically her life is boring. She wants something bad to happen. That way she can say something actually happen and she isn’t making something up. As she has friends that has real problems. Hers is getting angry because she doesn’t want to do something.

    5. Profile photo of
      Jacky Hughes

      I identify. Being a parent of a child with mental health issues is very difficult. I am glad you çan write about it. When my child (now adult) was at home I found it hard to tell anyone what I was going through.

      Inpatient care might be a good idea to give you a break.

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        I do find it hard to talk to people about it. My family thinks I am over reacting. Lets just say I have had to put my foot down more than once to them. To the point of not allowing my daughter to be around a few because of how they acted and what they would say.

        I get embarrassed when people come over because of her drama. She will have an outburst for no reason. Than look at people and say see I told you my mom was mean. While they tell her sweetie, if I was your mom you would get your behind beat. Your mom is nice compared to me. She gets mad and stomps to her room.

    6. Profile photo of Irene Nevins
      Irene Nevins

      My heart goes out to you. You have a difficult life. Don’t let her consume you. Use the facility so your daughter will get the hang of not being the center of attention. This gives you time for you.

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        Every time I talk to somebody they tell me to call the cops. That is not the way I want to proceed with my daughter. As I don’t think jail will help. I will have to do some calling around and see which places need what. Some require a doctor or judge to let them in.

    7. Profile photo of CatMom NJ
      CatMom NJ

      Oh wow, that is a load on your shoulders that no one should have to bear. Butunfortaunetly there are those who do, including myself to a degree. I’m just praying for you that something gives soon. I suspect bi-polar with a few of my relatives as well, and one of them is her own adult child. These latter two get along fine but not too well with me. I mean who can get along with the type of person who has tantrums, is self-centered, and is pretty much angry at any time. There are also times where I’m being accused of some of the most ridiculous things now and stuff is brought up from the past that isn’t even true. It’s a struggle…

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        Sounds like my household. Some days all I do is cry because I don’t know what else to do.

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        Yes, they sure can. My boys were not this hard. My daughter is one challenge to many some days. I love her either way.

      2. Profile photo of Kyla Matton Osborne
        Kyla Matton Osborne

        I was just thinking of her, and thinking I should ask you how she’s doing now. Has she settled any?

        Some kids really are a lot more challenging than their siblings. I have four, and I can say that two of them have been much easier than the other two. For different reasons and at different times – thank goodness! But I really respect all the parents I know who are coping with a special needs child or a child who has behaviour issues. It really is the toughest job you’ll ever do.

      3. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        She has settled some what. She is no longer violent. But her screaming is unbearable. I keep the doors closed most days with AC running.

      4. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        I will say some days she does scare me, as I think she is going to get violent. I try to place myself in another room.

      5. Profile photo of Kyla Matton Osborne
        Kyla Matton Osborne

        I hope you can get some help if it’s getting that extreme. It can be so difficult to get our kids the services they need. But there are times when it becomes imperative. Please stay safe, Sandy.

      1. Profile photo of Sandy KS
        Sandy KS Post author

        They seem to be more like that today for some odd reason. not sure if it is because the government has put their hand in the lives of families or something in the water,.

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