During the start of my struggle, I feel weak. I keep telling to myself that I cannot do this. I might appear tough, but no. I keep on collapsing that is why I am struggling. Many nights I had cried. I am asking God of the reason and I want the reason immediately. I keep talking to him because I want to understand so that I can move on, so that I can do what I need to do. For a person who is receiving an illness, this is just the natural reaction. No one deserves to have an illness and no one should be suffering from it.
However, as days goes by, it is different. It is different among the illness I had from the past. The story of my illness at present is something new to me. This illness changed everything on how I cope up with things. It changes my focus. It changes my attitude, reactions and it leads me to a right decision. It even leads me to the right person. The right person who will help me with decision, who will help me with funds, who will help me prayers, who will help me to make me feel I am worthy of this life. Fighting is my better option and this is the best decision.
Another thing, pain is inevitable for the person who is feeling it, but suffering is just an option. You cannot stop yourself from feeling the pain, but making you feel down and lost with it, making you emotional and negative will not help you. It only makes you feel bad. Pain is inevitable, accept it. Suffering should not be an option. Life is worth fighting, so you better do the right thing.
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