Drug Addiction : Would You Stay?

Yesterday, I got a call from a sister. She had surgery last year to remove a tumor in her brain. (She has recovered nicely.) Her husband was the one my boyfriend was working with a little bit in a maintenance shop. Til the husband got hooked on drugs and lost it all.

The reasons she had to move, her house was foreclosed on. Her husband had not paid the house payment, car payment, or paid the utilities in over a year.

My sister used her income tax return to pay over $6000 to keep her car. She went and checked on the utilities to see if they qualify up for a couple programs. Come to find out, the family was already set up that way. She has a huge bill for her electrical. Good part, none of the bills was in her name. However, they are in her husband’s name. So, she is still responsible to pay the bills.

Currently she is the only one working. Until, mid August when her job closes down. She works at Sears. The store she is working at, is one of the many Sears stores closing.

Her husband is currently not working. As he can’t keep his job. Due to making too many errors and his drug use. From what I understand it is a painkiller addiction. Due to a back injury. However, the grape vine says he is doing heavier stuff his wife has no clue about.

Can you stay married to someone with a drug addiction?

Photo from Pixabay, a free use photo website.



  1. JoDee Stout

    I know when I was with some one who was a alcoholic, I saw myself having to drink just to be around him. So I “booted” him out and stopped the relationship. So, I doubt I’d put up with a drug addict!! 😉

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      I could not be with someone who was addicted to heavy drugs. I have seen the damage it has done with in my own family. Families ripped apart.

  2. Kyla Matton Osborne

    I have fortunately never been in that position. But my philosophy is that taking painkillers after an injury and becoming addicted is no different than getting Alzheimer’s. You do whatever you can to support the spouse you promised to love till death do you part, and you balance that with protecting yourself and the kids. If that means a separation for legal or financial reasons, fine. But there should still be emotional support and an attempt to get the spouse into rehab.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      There is more to the an addiction to pain killers. I couldn’t put everything in to one story. The man does not believe he has an addiction. He refuses help. He will steal his wife’s money to buy illegal prescription and non prescription drugs. He will also take her steal prescription pain medication.

    2. Kyla Matton Osborne

      Sandy, a lot of people in the US are now getting hooked on heroin after they are prescribed strong painkillers by doctors who don’t bother to do the necessary follow-up.

      I would think as soon as it gets to the point where a spouse is taking money from the household budget for drugs, the other spouse must take action to protect the family’s assets and to ensure the safety of the children. That may mean legal separation, the same as it would if the spouse were an alcoholic.

      But I do very strongly believe that there’s a difference between taking action to protect the family and total abandonment. If he’s refusing help, the best thing to do is to separate and tell him to get help. Even offer to help him get treatment. And repeat the offer at intervals. But he must understand that the family comes first, and he needs to help the family by dealing with the addiction.

    3. Sandy KS Post author

      I know all about the heroin epidemic. My oldest sister’s (The one with all the kids) boyfriend overdosed and is now serving a 4 year sentence for heroin.

      Unless a person wants to and can afford rehab, they can not be forced to in my area. Unless they are mandated by the courts on their release from jail or prison to attend a halfway house / rehab center.

      People with a heroin addiction will get treated with suboxin. Another highly addictive drug. That often gets abused.

    4. Kyla Matton Osborne

      Sad, isn’t it? I hope maybe with the new law that Deb wrote about, more people who need help will be able to get it.

    5. Kyla Matton Osborne

      It’s called the Comprehensive Addiction and Recovery Act of 2016 (“CARA.”) Deb Jones wrote an article outlining some of the major points on another site, or you can just Google it.

  3. Donna

    With God’s help my daughter is now on the road to being a meth free mother after eight years, no I would leave and not be an enabler prayers for the family

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      I have been praying for her family. I did point out several things to her, One another sister who ‘s boyfriend of her three youngest children has been in and out of prison for the last 10 years or better for drugs. I asked if she wants to be like her. She said no.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      That is how I feel. One can only put up with so much before they break.

  4. Gil Camporazo

    Love finds no boundary. Love accepts whoever you are. The drug user needs a kind attention. He shouldn’t be left all alone. It is too difficult to hand such situation, but it should be that way according to the Lord’s way. Love the sinner and hate the sin.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      I understand that, I really do. However, a family should not be forced to put up with an a drug addiction that has cost them everything. I think a family can only take so much before the breaking point.

  5. Martha DeMeo

    It’s sad all around, if it was caused from pain meds, and he wants to get help, maybe both could talk to someone. Is their love stronger than the drugs and can they both try to help to end the vicious cycle of drug abuse.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      No, their love is not stronger than drugs. I think they both want out. But neither will leave.

  6. Kyuminette

    I thought that he was using illegal drug addiction but it is a drug for medication.I think he needs too because if too much pain needs painkillers just like me I usually take a pain killer when my headache attacks me every day I need to take a painkiller medicine.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      Yes, he is using illegal drugs as well. He is doing meth on top of illegal prescription drugs. His wife has no idea.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      Yes, it is a tough question. I think it depends on each situation.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      I will. I need to go to the store yet. That will probably be Sunday or Monday.

  7. Vinaya

    We don’t have addicts in the family, however, I once had a friend who was a drug addict. He died because of drug overdose.

    1. Sandy KS Post author

      That is good you do not have any drug addicts in your family. My siblings do not have a drug addiction either. However their spouses and boyfriend seem to sure have an issue with them. I think they need to make better choices in men.

  8. Ruth Cox

    No. I would not, have not, remained in the presence of an addict once the behavior became an emotional, financial, and physical threat to my being. I do believe in loving the sinner but not the sin–and I have learned there are times when I must love the addict–from a distance.

    I have lived this as the daughter of a mother killed by the hands of her husband–under the influence–and as an adult being abused by my husband the addict. I am also the mom of an adult heroin addict, whom I love–from a distance.

    No. I no longer tolerate these type of toxic relationships as part of my life.

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