A Favorite Child And A Not So Favorite

I don’t know if any of you had to grow up without your mom, but here is my story of what I had to live with when I was younger. When my mom died, my dad decided to raise us girls himself. He had chosen a favorite even before my mom passed away and he made it very well known.

Dad would be invited to my mom’s family functions just so that they could see us girls. But they really didn’t want him around because of the way that he had acted towards them all after the wreck. He would always be telling them what all he was going to do for my sister – but not for me. When they would look at him and he would say, “Oh, I guess I have to remember that I have two girls.”  I was right there and was always hearing this.

He was very abusive to me, mentally and emotionally. When someone would say that I should talk to a therapist or something because I had seen everything at the wreck and for how he was treating me, he would say that there was nothing wrong and that I didn’t need to talk to anyone! I was expected to grow up very fast. That way, I could clean the house, do the laundry, and cook the meals on top of my homework and all. I had to do everything, while my sister got to sit there and do nothing but homework.

When we were in high school and would want to go and do something, then I couldn’t go unless my sister wanted to go!  If she chose not to go I couldn’t either. I missed a lot of games, dances, and youth things at church because she chose that she didn’t want to go.

When I moved out of the house to go to college I decided that I was not going to come back there again to live.  I met my husband and decided to move in with him and his family. I knew that this was wrong, but it kept me out of the house that I grew up in. Later, my husband decided to move and see about a job with his brother in Oklahoma. So he left me with my dad. The day that he came back and I was moving out with him, my dad actually took a belt to me! I left and haven’t been back to live at all.

My dad is one that has to be in control of everything, he doesn’t like that I won’t let him tell me what to do or how to raise my kids.  But he has my sister. She had always lived with my dad and my niece has too.  He pays for everything for them, but then gripes about it. He doesn’t think that he should have to, but he has done it all of her life. He has bailed her out of all the trouble that she has ever gotten into.

I am so glad that I am out of there!


Featured Image: Unsplash/Pixabay/CC0


  1. Sandy KS

    I can empathize with you. When a parent has a favorite it does hurt all the others. I was raised by my stepmother and father since I was five. My stepmother did everything for my step sister and half brother. While my real siblings and I went without. I understand now that my stepmother was jealous of the love we had for our mother. Even after all that I prefer to be with my stepmom over my own mother. As mother has a chosen her favorite. When I refuse to have anything to do with.

  2. Pat Z Anthony

    Some parents really don’t know how to do the right thing in many circumstances. It is a shame that some have to experience the things you mention.

  3. Kyla Matton Osborne

    I’m sorry you had to go through such a rough experience. I can certainly see why you didn’t want to return to live with your father. I guess grief affected him in a bad way…

  4. S.L. Luna

    God bless you in your new life now and keep on moving forward and just pray for your family that they may be e lightened and that God would work in their lives. Life us a gift , and it is given to us to live as a decent human being clothed in love, affection and fear of the Lord , to grow up in a non hostile environment because what we were brought up with will affect our lives in the future. Trauma from childhood always have a way of changing us , often in a negative way. Btrave post.

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