It has been 24 years since Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés first published: “Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype.”
There were many times I wanted to read this book, but somehow felt (or was told) that it was another indicator of the inappropriateness of me in life and the family in which I never felt that I belonged. I somehow believed that by avoiding this book, I would be safe from embracing the “me” at my very core.
Over the years, I have struggled with coming into my own, believing that someday I would “get it right,” if only I could quiet the voice, tame the spirit, and act according to the rules set forth by those who believe that their version of “what is right” is the only way.
I found myself struggling in my family, the military, in work situations, and in the online expression of myself in writing and interaction. I was the “bad” one. Just ask those who asked me to wear the collars they designed for me.
Recently, one of my sisters described me as “the talking mirror”; the one who holds up the reflection for others to see themselves. Another of my friends gave me the distinct title of a “lightning bolt of instigation.”
In my introductory post in the members’ forum, I have shared a part of me that is as honest as I am alive. I cannot do it any differently. To deny who I am is to die a slow and painful death.
I suppose that I am finally coming into my own, and embracing the Wild Woman that has perpetually tried to live true to self, and never quite fit-in where life has taken me.
Today, I began to read Dr. Estés’ book. In the introductory chapter, I found so many of the words jumping out at me. Speaking to me. Telling a part of MY story.
I imagine this will be the story, as well, of the many women who have preceded me, and who have followed in my footsteps.
Let this journey back to reclaiming the Wild Woman in all of us begin.