Why some women do not want childen

Having children, specially bearing one is not for all women. Women have the biological capacity but it is an open question whether a woman wants it or not. Some however, may be forced to have one in the case of those unplanned pregnancies or of being a rape victim. The question remains though, if the woman actually wants to have children or not.

There are primary reasons why women nowadays do not want to have children, specially those in the first world countries. Regardless if the reasons are acceptable to you or me, it is the truth for others, brought about by how they were brought up by their parents, by the beliefs and cultures in the place where they grew up, or by philosophies in life that they try to live by. Let me give you the 5 top reasons that I am aware of.

  1. Having children is a huge financial responsibility. Unlike having a dog or a cat, who may live up to 16 years, having children means preparing for the future financially. You do not need to send a pet to college, so it is easier than having kids.
  2. Bearing children ruins the body figure of a woman. This may sound absurd to you, but for many women these days, in this age of beauty and perfection, this is a big issue. Mothers have sagging bellies and t*ts and nobody wants this. Again you may disagree, but this is reality. You can compare the taut body of a woman who never bore a child and the taut body of a mother who worked out real hard after giving birth and see the subtle differences such as stretch marks. For people who knows how to appreciate the responsibility, efforts, and discipline of a mother to maintain herself, this remarkable difference makes a mother all the more beautiful. However, deep inside the mother’s heart, her body confidence may have gone down 35% lower than before she had a child.
  3. Having children means changing your lifestyle. You can no longer party and stay out late every night, whenever and wherever you want. Having a child means changing your life and lifestyle forever.
  4. Children damages womens career. When a woman becomes pregnant, not only is her figure changed, her career options change too. She won’t be sent on overseas assignments anymore, or anything that will pose risks to her and her unborn child. Then she goes on maternity leave for 2 months. After the child is born, she might have to rush home every evening to tend to the child instead of working overtime.
  5. Children are lifetime responsibilities. That means you have to learn to be more patient, considerate, more loving, and be there for your child or children. You have to be a role model for your child if you want the child to grow up to be someone worthy of praise. This means you have to be more responsible and teach the child well. Being a parent sometimes is the hardest work because it needs psychological, physical, and mental stability. It is not like working 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. You have to be a parent even if you’re sick and unwell.

I do not make excuses for those who do not want to have children, but simply to say I understand and it is your choice. At one point in my life, I was faced with that big decision too.

For the women who chose to be mothers and parents despite knowing all these, my salute goes to you all.

It is unfortunate though that some women who wants to bear children couldn’t have one because of medical conditions, while others who do not want to be mothers are blessed with many unwanted pregnancies. My heart goes out to all those women. May you gain blessings from the Almighty, so you can still share your love to others.

To the women out there, would you still want to have children after knowing all these? Or do you have other better reasons for not wanting kids?

To the husbands, do you now understand how big a sacrifice it is for a woman to bear your child/children? Are you showing your wife the appreciation and love she deserves?

I would love to know your thoughts and comments about this.

Image: Pixabay


  1. Gina M. Menorca

    I have always believed that the essence of a woman is to become a mother. It is a wonderful feeling. A miracle. Although, One should be ready for all the responsibility.

  2. Tania K Cowling

    Having children is not easy, but for some it’s a blessing. One that you will realize as your children grow. It the circle of life. I believe it’s not for everyone, but some may miss this opportunity and may regret it later in life.

    1. Isabel Post author

      I once heard a man say, this is what single career ladies say. But once they’re married and fell into the circle of friends and family, all they want is to have their own kids. I guess we have to understand that perspectives change eventually, for others, again but not for everyone.

    1. Isabel Post author

      Having three children is a blessing I would say. Others would not even be blessed to have one no matter how they want it. Glad to know you too like kids 🙂

    2. Sandy KS

      Yes, I know I am blessed to have three children. As I was told after my first I should not have any more because of all the troubles I had with my first. I love each of my children. My youngest is now 16, my middle is a couple weeks from turning 18, and my oldest is 25 with a son of his own. I am blessed.

      My sister has seven children. I don’t know how she does it. As she has never been married.

  3. Gayathri Ganesan

    The beauty of a woman which you have mentioned gets ruined by child birth is even otherwise time bound. Over years any one gets old and physical beauty is only temporary. About responsibilities of bringing up a child, life is nothing without an ambition and the joy of seeing your kid settling in life is unmatchable.

    1. Isabel Post author

      Not wanting children does not mean not having ambition. In fact, women without children are highly ambitious but not for their own reproduction. I had a friend who said reproduction is only for animals, and that if we have much love to share, we can do better by spreading it to the world and not focusing on reproducing on a child/children. We all have different opinions of course due to our cultures and upbringing, but respect to everyone.

  4. Francine Labelle

    I decided early in life that I did not want any children and I am not ashamed to say it. My mother used to have a mini day care centre in our house and every evening I would see the mothers picking up their children. All those mothers looked dead tired, harassed by their children and just plain lagging in energy and resources. I there and now decided I would not be burdened with a child. I understand that children are important in the world and to most person who reside in it but they were not to me. As such, because I thought I would become a lousy mother I decided to first be on the pill and later on to have a tubal ligation at the ripe old age of 24 years old. It was the best decision I ever made. I am sure that some of you will say that I only thought of myself at that time and later on but let me tell you I thought of the poor children that would have me as a mother, that is a very impatient, corrective and demanding woman in general first on herself and sometimes on others. Well that is my excuse or my story and I am sticking to it and not regretting it.

    1. Isabel Post author

      Respect to you dear Francine. Not all women are responsible enough to think that way. Others would prefer to just play by chance and if by accident they get pregnant, either they become unprepared mothers or give away the kids for adoption. You are more responsible in your own decision and salute to that.

  5. Priscilla King

    Growing up as an undiagnosed celiac, with a mother who was disabled by complications of undiagnosed celiac disease, put me off the idea of having children as each pregnancy did more harm to Mother. Reading about the population explosion as a child didn’t make me want to have babies either. I became unable to have children right around the time the adults in my life started to imagine that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I had one…and I’m glad. I remember that I was thinking in terms of adoption by age seven.

  6. Priscilla King

    That said…I’m also glad that, before marriage, I’d been able to recover my health by going gluten-free, such that I might not have been disabled if I *had* had children. My husband had also been certified naturally sterile. If we had produced a child I would have considered it a miracle and wanted to rear it rather than aborting it.

    1. Isabel Post author

      Glad to hear everything turned out as you planned and that you are well. Yes, I agree that for women, it pays and it’s worth it to be ready for the occurrence of children as we grow into adults and find our loving partners. Happy to hear you are ready for it even if you were not into it before. That’s what counts most.

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